"We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light." Plato
"The trouble with our Liberal friends is not that they're ignorant; it's just that they know so much that isn't so." Ronald Reagan
"The worst form of inequality is to try to make unequal things equal." Aristotle
"Man is the only kind of varmint sets his own trap, baits it, then steps in it." John Steinbeck
"Southern California, where the American Dream came too true." Lawrence Ferlinghetti
"There is no such thing as public opinion. There is only published opinion." Winston Churchill
"We contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle." Winston Churchill
"Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery." Winston Churchill
"Don't write so that you can be understood, write so that you can't be misunderstood." William Howard Taft
"Labor disgraces no man; unfortunately, you occasionally find men who disgrace labor." Ulysses S Grant
"They teach anything in universities today. You can major in mud pies." Orson Wells
"Socialism is the same as Communism, only better English." George Bernard Shaw
"The difference between literature and journalism is that journalism is unreadable and literature is not read." Oscar Wilde
"By giving us the opinions of the uneducated, journalism keeps us in touch with the ignorance of the community." Oscar Wilde
"When they call the roll in the Senate, the Senators do not know whether to answer 'Present' or 'Not guilty." Theodore Roosevelt
"Every immigrant who comes here should be required within five years to learn English or leave the country." Theodore Roosevelt
"Votes should be weighed not counted." Friedrich Schiller
"Government exists to protect us from each other. Where government has gone beyond its limits is in deciding to protect us from ourselves. " Ronald Reagan
"It has been said that politics is the second oldest profession. I have learned that it bears a striking resemblance to the first." Ronald Reagan
"No government ever voluntarily reduces itself in size. Government programs, once launched, never disappear. Actually, a government bureau is the nearest thing to eternal life we'll ever see on this earth!" Ronald Reagan
"Unemployment insurance is a pre-paid vacation for freeloaders." Ronald Reagan
"Government's first duty is to protect the people, not run their lives." Ronald Reagan
"Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something." Plato
"Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else." Frederic Bastiat
"Few of us can stand prosperity. Another man's, I mean." Mark Twain
"There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress." Mark Twain
"Those who want to reap the benefits of this great nation must bear the fatigue of supporting it." Thomas Paine
"Socialism means slavery." Lord Acton
"There are horrible people who, instead of solving a problem, tangle it up and make it harder to solve for anyone who wants to deal with it. Whoever does not know how to hit the nail on the head should be asked not to hit it at all." Friedrich Nietzsche
"A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul." George Bernard Shaw
"In America the President reigns for four years, and Journalism governs forever and ever." Oscar Wilde
"The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets." Will Rogers
"A fool and his money are soon elected." Will Rogers
"I've never been able to understand why a Republican contributor is a 'fat cat' and a Democratic contributor of the same amount of money is a 'public-spirited philanthropist." Ronald Reagan
"The taxpayer - that's someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the civil service examination." Ronald Reagan
"Republicans believe every day is the Fourth of July, but the democrats believe every day is April 15th." Ronald Reagan
The following quotes or perhaps more aptly labeled observations have been attributed to Jeff Foxworthy. Haven't confirmed these gems are his but they are worth reading regardless who compsed them.
Which side of the fence?
If you ever wondered which side of the fence you sit on, this is a great test!
If a Republican doesn't like guns, he doesn't buy one.
If a Democrat doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.
If a Republican is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat
If a Democrat is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.
If a Republican is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If a Democrat is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.
If a Republican is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
If a Democrat is down-and-out he wonders who is going to take care of him.
If a Republican doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels.
A Democrat demands that those they don't like be shut down.
If a Republican is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church.
A Democrat non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced.
If a Republican decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
If a Democrat decides he needs health care, he demands that the rest of us pay for his.
If a Republican is unhappy with an election, he grumbles and goes to work the next day.
If a Democrat is unhappy with an election, he burns down a Starbucks, throws rocks at cops and takes two-weeks off for therapy.